Connecting in an Alternative Ed Environment
They stage art exhibits, perform Shakespearean drama, work in soup kitchens, collect food for the poor. Their success and achievement are undeniable, and for some, unthinkable in their former schools. But, they’re not the typical high-achiever, superstar student success story.
They are students in alternative education settings at the Erie 1 BOCES Northtowns and Southtowns academies. With their small classes, behavioral management, and counseling components, alternative education programs are ideal for students whose troubles have disrupted their lives and their learning. They may come with piercings and hoodies, brightly-hued hair and comparably colorful language … and, they may bring along the behaviors that caused problems in their former schools.
And yet, their success stories are unfolding, in academics, in the arts, and in service to others. The ’04-05 class of 87 seniors was among the largest graduating classes ever, with a senior graduation rate of 95% and a drop out rate hovering at barely 4%. In the New York State assessments, a 100% passing rate was achieved in Regents English 11 - a consistent accomplishment in the alternative education classes.
So, what’s the magic key? Mostly, listening and acceptance, says Debra Randall, principal at the Erie 1 BOCES Northtowns Academy. "The odds of students succeeding are always pretty good, when they’re viewed as people with hope and potential," she says.
"The alternative education teacher who is going to help these students make it accepts the way they are, and accepts them unconditionally," she says. "When a kid in class is just being a real pill, the successful alternative education teacher asks, ‘Is something going on with your work here or at home?’ And the student says, ‘It’s none of your business.’ And the teacher says, ‘Right, but if you’re having a hard time you might want to come back to this tomorrow.’ It validates their feelings and gives them a choice, and they will most likely sit there and do the work. Now, in a regular classroom with 30 kids, a little oppositional defiance is not going to go over very well. But, in alternative education, the classes are smaller and more personalized, and you can be more flexible."
Here, she shares her Top 10 ways to connect:
1. STOP talking and START listening!
"Too many times we know the answer and we want to tell them and just have them do it," she says. "The trick is to stop talking and have them realize things on their own. That’s more important than fixing things and telling them what to do. Otherwise, when you’re not there, they fall flat."
2. Keep your mind open and mouth shut.
"Don’t close your mind to kids because they’re wearing a belly button ring. Stop focusing on what they look like and focus on what they’re saying. A very bizarre-looking kid can have a great grasp of politics, but you won’t know if you’re not listening. Those appearances serve a function. The kid in the big sweatshirt or hoodie may be an abused kid in hiding. The kid with all the holes in his face is being noticed – when you notice the person and the need, they feel better, comforted, cared about, then they don’t need the other things as much."
3. Let them know they’re important to you.
"When they talk to you, really listen and let them know they are important to us. When they want to talk it will be a very brief window. Sit down and listen. Also, some of the best conversations I’ve ever had with kids are when I’m driving or playing basketball. You’re with them, you’re engaged, and it’s non-threatening."
4. Show them respect. Too many adults have the attitude that, "They’re just kids."
"They deserve for us to respond to them as human beings for their ideas and opinions. Do they feel any less because of their age? I tell them their love is the most intense kind, because it is brand new to them."
5. Be consistent and fair.
"Some kids are easier to like than others. They are so prickly on the outside, but so tender on the inside. Sometimes I think they made it to alternative education because they are the most sensitive and they are the most damaged by what’s going on in their lives."
6. When it’s time for a consequence, make it immediate, reasonable and logical.
"Set parameters and stick with them. They’ll test you, but that will stop. Often their homes are so chaotic, they have to test and learn what the parameters are. Every crisis, every outburst, every hole punched in the wall in anger is an opportunity to teach coping skills … because, they just don’t have them. It’s an opportunity for these questions:
‘Tell me in your own words what happened …
‘What are the consequences of that ?’
‘If you had it to do over again, what would you do …?’ Get them make a plan: ‘You will get angry again, what is your plan for when that happens?’"
7. Observe.
"You will know when something is wrong when you observe what is normal for them. When the girl who’s always dolled up comes in with no make up and looks unkempt, or the usually happy person is shadowy, you know something is wrong."
8. Reinforce positive behavior and ignore the petty stuff.
"Catch ‘em being good. One year I had a girl who was just ... so, I got 1,000 marbles and three mayo jars. She got a marble for anything positive. She sat right down, ready to work, she got a marble. She was quiet while another student read an essay, she got a marble. She made eye contact, she got a marble. And there was group reinforcement, because when the jars were filled, the class won a pizza party."
9. Be genuine.
"They’re very sensitive and they will spot a phony in a minute."
10. Share yourself.
"Do not ever let your own bad day interfere with any kid. Try to recognize it and pull it back. Just say, ‘I’m not up to it today, we’ll deal with it tomorrow.’ It helps them realize that you really are a human being."
